I Am An Idiot
It has been a long time since I have seen her. Our professional and personal schedules and responsibilities have kept us physically apart. Sure we email, IM, and chat on the phone but something is missing. I miss the look in her eyes when I walk into the room. It is one of happiness and expectation. I miss her smell and I miss her touch. In case you wonder, I need to be in her physical presence.
Lately I have been a little boy again. I pout and I doubt. Surely she can find someone better, younger, more sexy, etc than me. No, she has never given me reason to doubt but I can revert to my insecure High School days in about 5 seconds.
I saw her the other day. She smiled. While we couldn’t even speak much less touch (even to shake hands), she smiled. When I talked to her today I realized what a fool I have been. Doubting myself, worrying about things over which I have no control.
I am a fool. She deserves much more than me.
Baby, I am sorry.